What is the reason for this outward display of bitchiness, you ask? Because, in the last 24 hours or so, I've been doing some thinking. So here is my fantasically bitchy list of reasons why I am still pissed off/upset/contemplating this relationship and its meaning:
1. Some of you wrote in the Guestbook and asked how long Patrick and I have been together. The truth of the matter is, not that long. Like, 3 1/2 months, to be more precise. That's not even a real relationship.
2. He doesn't love me. There is no way. There are girls out there who are three times as beautiful as me that look at him, talk to him, inquire about his athleticism. And truthfully, I don't think I love him. I think I became very attached to him because I felt I had no one else. A terrible thing to do really, but I am only human.
3. Patrick has a terrible time with words. And in order to compensate for this, he uses his daddy's money. Which is fine, sometimes, but it can get real old real fast. Quality versus quantity, peeps. That's all I could ever hope for.
4. He said, and I quote, "I didn't want to back off because I didn't want you to be more hurt than you already have been." Which implies that he was thinking about backing off, thinking about how things were getting serious, and despite talking to me, he believed that pretending to feel all those things and doing all those nice things would help me cope with my grandpa's death, and in the meantime, it would buy him some time to figure out what our relationship meant.
5. Despite doubting the quality of our relationship, he decided to stll go ahead and take my virginity, all the while pretending that we were the "happy couple in love."
I am not answering the phone until I feel ready to spout off my list. I am not going to accept flowers as if I am a dainty little girl that is charmed by these materialistic apologies and who suddenly forgets her broken heart. And I will not give Madeline back.
Hey, I don't want to be an indian-giver.